No need for ‘bells or whistles’ to get started again. Genuine pressure at work prevented me from making the time for Blogging like I used to. And internal pressure to get back to this has got me started again. At least for today.

Hitting the ‘save to drafts’ button has almost become an addiction. Start an excellent (in my mind of course) piece and suddenly something else becomes more urgent. Bam. Save to Drafts. Not today.  But not today.

So I’m watching the word count, am I 450 words yet? Of course not. So what else must I write until I get to 450 words? Hmmm. I know..maybe I could just type out 100 lines of –“I must write a post daily”. That should more than satisfy the word limit. Of course, you brave soul who is here reading this nonnsense might just go crazy from ready all those lines. Hardly an accomplishment I wish to be credited for. So I’ll resist that urge. For today.

And what do you know, my Messenger just beeped twice. It means one of my dearest friends is trying to reach me. I reached for the phone, then snatched my hand back quickly. If I read that, I’m going to be overcome by the urge to respond and then I’m going to be distracted and then I’m going to hit the Save To Drafts button. No no no! Not today.

Between the time it took for this to be posted from Windows Live Writer (I really love that tool), I checked the Message I said I wasn’t going to check. Sure enough it was a friend trying to drag me into her ever unfolding ‘drama’. Not today.

Not only am I going to finish and post this valiant effort at kicking the Save To Drafts habit, but I am going to savour the feeling of hitting the Publish button and I don’t want that to be marred by anything else. Thankfully, its not a buzz from my Sis and my Goddaughter. If the latter decides to send me a Voice Note….well the battle would be lost. I hope she keeps quiet until I’m done this because I’m not saving to drafts. Oh no. Not today!

Gee, am already feeling so proud of myself that I’m about to hit the save button and lean back for a while. Nope. Not doing that either. It might just be the time it will take to get me distracted by a premature celebration. Only an earthquake is going to break this flow right now. Adrenalin pumping as I near the 450 words marker and I realize that even pushing out nonsense can help to break the hold of ‘drafts’. And I’m not about to quit now. Not today!

Yeaaaa! Made it. With even more words to spare. And I’m not saving to drafts folder. You think this is nonsense? Well sorry for you. It’s therapy for me. Resistance. Victory over the urge to do the usual then beat up myself for not posting. A small but significant victory for me. I did not save to drafts. I’m about to hit the publish button right now. Yes today! And I’ll come back and check for typos later. I won’t even risk saving.

Not today…

Marvia

Michael Jackson’s death has had a huge impact on me, and of course just about every other person in the world. Bob Marley was the only other entertainment icon, whose passing caused me such sorrow. In both cases, I’ve collected and continue to reap benefits from the real legacy they left behind. Yes, I knew I’d catch your attention. No doubt you want to know if I’m some ‘secret scandal’ of Michael, perhaps a personal disclosure of another Billie Jean or Dirty Diana?

Sorry to burst your bubble. I’m just one of the countless ordinary folk who grew up listening to and being influenced by his amazing music. And as a result, I simply have to share my thoughts. I’ve been writing this since his death but just haven’t been able to complete it until today, Tuesday July 7, 2009 the day of his Memorial Service. I couldn’t let this day go by without revealing the share of his legacy that I got.

For me, MJ’s real legacy is the powerful, deeply meaningful and magical music he shared with the entire world. There is no doubt that this man, through his song deserves his iconic position as one of the few individuals who have walked this earth to have touched the lives of young and old, across so many different cultures.

And if for nothing else – I’ll be happy for the culturally sensitive and educational rather than mindless videos and messages he spread through the medium of music. The images of faces of the world’s most marginalized and vulnerable peoples have been branded on my mind since my youth. His messages were supposed to be entertaining, but most were in fact vividly challenging with either a plea or rebuke toward eliciting transformation.

Hence my claim of his legacy. No he was no great Christian leader like Martin Luther King, but his messages were no less powerful. A comparison of the two would be unfair, but their intention to bridge and transcend the boundaries of Black or White were the same. They have long ago been my personal aims as well. And yet, it is still painfully evident that there is no bridging or transcending where we do not admit the painful and shameful conditions of life of both races – across the world.

My share of the legacy came through such songs such as:

We are the world
Man in the mirror
Heal the world
Black or white
Earth Song
They don’t care about us

Michael Jackson’s music exuded his keen understanding of global issues including but not limited to – Race, Poverty, Peace, Sexuality and Environmental Issues. Who could remain unmoved at the sights of the faces of the poor, who live in the worlds most economically dis-advantaged and destitute places. Who else was able to take these images into our personal space even when we shun the day’s bad news. I know I was never untouched by the graphic images, and they helped to stir my Christian commitment to service to humanity – no matter their race or religion.

So thanks Michael, you’ve left me with a remarkable share of your real legacy – the capacity to see and be moved to compassion for the world’s destitute and vulnerable, the children, elderly, women…and they are not just of my race, or colour. Thank you.

And I’ll not sit here and pontificate without saying you’ve been more than a prophetic voice challenging us. Brother you were just downright Bad in the way you got me and countless other teenagers of the 80′s to move and groove. And for me, those days (like every generation claim) were good days. There were for me the days when I just danced like there was no stopping, and the worries of the teen years are hardly remembered for me to this day – all lost in the haze of the endless dance. And again, I thank you for helping me mold and shape that special gift God gave me and helping me give expression to the rhythm of my soul.

So moonwalk good my friend, as you glide away physically. You remain forever enmeshed in our minds and hearts. King of Pop, you asked Will You Be There? So sorry we can’t be there with you, as you spin and stomp your way to your destination. While some speculate about where that is, I have no time for that. God alone decides, I’ll instead spend the time making sure that I put in action what your music challenge us to do as I try to ensure I find my place with God.

Rest In Peace,
Marvia

Health and fitness are particular concerns of mine. Not that I’m obsessed with ‘fitness’ in the way it has been commercialized, but I do believe in keeping body, mind and soul fit. Sometimes with all the best intentions in the world, fitness becomes a wish not a way of life.

The stresses of life, especially a high stressed job with crazy schedules that does not allow for strict routines, can wreak havoc on your health. I know that from personal experience. However, I tend to go through periods of highs and lows. I’ve been in the lows for the past 3 months. Now the dreadful thing about lows, is that it is terrible trying to climb back into a routine.

When trying to get started again, its just crazy how the mind might be ready and the body is not budging. Or mind and body ready, but your job takes up the most productive times. More stress that! So what to do? Well I’ve sent out distress signals to my friends online and offline. I’m taking suggestions from which I’ll select the best routine for my present lifestyle. I need to do this as a matter of urgency as I’ve begun preparation for major lifestyle changes and moves that will bring on additional stress. I definitely need a health and fitness routine.

Moreover, the routine I am after must be holistic. I am after spiritual, mental/emotional and physical improvements here. I believe deep wholistic changes gives the most lasting benefits. I’m not into superficial cosmetic changes. And I don’t need to build a body just to look like Veronica Campbel-Brown either. She looks good doesn’t she!!..ok I’m straying. Physical changes in terms of building a bigger body (in my case) is not what I am after.

While I don’t believe I need to look like Veronica in the photo above, I definitely could use her stamina and that is both mental as well as physical. Therefore, I’m searching for the ‘right’ health and fitness routine for my body type, and for my present high stressed lifestyle as well. And I’m looking for something to fit within this framework for the next 6 months. I’ll need to develop something new after that, to fit the upcoming changes as well.

So onward I go in my quest. I’ll be scouring the net for just the right thing or someone pointing me to the right thing. Chances are, I’ll have to cut and paste to suit my particularities anyway but at least its a start. I’ll record my progress.

More to come..

[Image courtesy of Free Foto]

Yesterday I realized that Spring has always brought significant changes in my life. Either the immediate change itself, or news that heralds change. This year is no different. However, this year the anticipated news has been the cause of much anxiety.

There’s the sheer misery of having to wait all this time to receive the news. And it is still not here yet. Frayed nerves I tell you!

Isn’t that much of what life is like though? There are periods of relative calm and then there are those moments when you are clueless. It is in those moments that we get an even stronger sense of our mortality. We are forced to admit that we are not in control of all things. And for me, I choose to believe that God is in control.

Sometimes that knowledge makes it all the more easier to wait – especially when I’m confident that whatever the response God is in control. And it is that reminder that points out not just the folly, but the sinfulness of anxiety.

I Matthew 6:27 Jesus asks – Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to the span of your life? (NRSV) And that is so true. Worry or anxiety gets us nothing more than increased stress and said stress only brings us ill-health or shortens our life. Those truths are easier said than believed though.

Women across the world are prone to worrying more. There are just so many things that rest in our hands, so many who are dependent upon us. Worry and anxiety becomes second nature. And yet, women are still tenacious in our faith. What a tumultuous relationship we have with God. Makes me wonder….

I suppose too that our worry is greater, the more we feel we have at stake and the longer it takes for us to receive an answer in the affirmative. For isn’t the latter the real issue. We want to hear a positive response to our plans. However, true faith in God means that we during our period of waiting should be open to hearing either a yes or a no and believe that God knows best and acts in our best interest – even if we can’t see now, the truth of that.

Wait and be of good courage..
Marvia

Transitions of any kind comes with a certain amount of stress. The last 6 years has seem me moving steadily through different phases of my journey of faith. It has been far from easy. If anyone had told me 10 years ago that the last 6 of those 10 years would be spent in a state of moving, not quite settling, ready to go anytime…I’d strongly disagree to say the least.

Well 2 years in Panama, soon turned to 3 and now its time to move on again. Of course, the upcoming adventure is nowhere as exciting as what currently exists in Panama. I shall miss the variety. And no doubt when the demands of that new undertaking becomes dreary and frustrating (I have no doubt there’ll be those moments), I’ll have to comfort myself with photos and memories of this place I have grown to love.

But I cannot hang on to what is passing. I have to prepare to move on. Naturally, I’m feeling like I should do something to slow time down. However, that is not possible. What has been set in motion is beyond me. The time has come and its not about leaving Panama. The time is more concerned with assuming my new responsibilities. And if truth be told I’m looking forward to the whole newness of the time. However, I also confess that I am terrified about what is going to happen next.

More anon..

Marvia